Living Fragrance

Van Gogh's Prayer

As written in a letter to the artist's brother:

I want to be bound to Christ with unbreakable bonds and to feel these bonds...

To live in and for Chirst, to be one of the poor of His kingdom,

steeped in leaven filled with His spirit, impelled by His love...

To become one who finds repose in Him alone,

who desires nothing but Him on earth.

***

ht: Ann's post "Brave Strokes". A compassionate and grace-filled look at Van Gogh's life, and an encouraging call to fearlessly pour out our lives.

 

 

Gardening ventures

Yesterday I got my front flower pots planted and am pretty excited about them! In past years I just used tin buckets as containers for economy's sake (and I always thought they were pretty cool). But I guess I just felt like being a little more grown-up this year and so splurged on some real pots. I filled them with blue saliva, soft pink impatiens, yellow bidens, bright green and blackish sweet potato vines. Honestly, this first photo does the planters favors - the growth looks a little spindly at this point, but I'm hoping they'll fill out nicely as the summer progresses.

This next picture to the right shows my little strip of perennials along the side of the house awaiting bloom, and also our aged wood siding awaiting a new coat of paint (coming soon!).

This is really all I've got going with gardening so far this year; I'm hoping to do something in the back of the house (as you can see it needs something!), perhaps I'll just cut out a bed for some more perennials. Maybe a nice peony or hydrangea bush will fit in there somewhere. I was hoping to try a bit of vegetable gardening this year, but I'm thinking it may have to wait for next year. I do have a nice little pepper plant in a pot, though... I guess that's something of a start.

These lovelies on my table were from a dear friend who is a true gardener and is alway so generous with the fruit of her work. I aspire. *smile*

And since I'm a little photo happy tonight, here's a random shot of me to prove I really am alive and well, even though I haven't posted much lately.

I hope all is well with you dear people who stop by here! Grace and peace to you.

Peter's thanks

My husband, Peter, just recently started blogging again (Yay!). Since he's not sure if our friends know he's posting, he asked me if I would share this link to a post he wrote to thank some people for their input in his life. (Although I'm not really sure how many folks check in here, either...)

My beloved, one of the most grateful people I know.

Movie meme

Some friends from church are doing this movie meme, so I thought I'd join the fun:

1. One movie that made you laugh:
What About Bob?

2. One movie that made you cry:
Seabiscuit.

3. One movie you loved when you were a child:
The Sound of Music.

4. One movie you’ve seen more than once:
Sense and Sensibility.

5. One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it:
Michael Clayton. ('cause it's rated R for really rough language, but such a good justice flick.)

6. One movie you hated:
Batman Begins.

7. One movie that scared you:
The Untouchables.

8. One movie that bored you:
Once.

9. One movie that made you happy:
Chariots of Fire.

10. One movie that made you miserable:
Master and Commander.

11. One movie you weren’t brave enough to see:
Schindler's List. (didn't make it all the way through)

12. One movie character you’ve fallen in love with:
Billy Bob Thorton's David Crockett from The Alamo.

13. The last movie you saw:
Kite Runner.

14. The next movie you hope to see:
Prince Caspian.

Favorite art

Just thought I'd share some of my favorite artwork from our house. I love framing our kids' stuff and displaying it; children always create the greatest art, don't they? So free, so alive and expressive. My son David made the above picture when he was five, just after a trip to St. Thomas. There were tiny hermit crabs everywhere, and the most beautiful shells on the untouched beach where we spent time. I think David captured it so well. He began his picture saying, "Mama, I'm going to make something that I want you to frame like you framed Grace's picture." (See below.) I was very happy to comply! The blue along the bottom is the tide washing up on the sand (you knew that, I'm sure!).

Grace painted this when she was four, I believe. It was one of the first times she had used watercolors. I think I was sitting beside her painting something with lots of dots and circles and she just sort of followed suit - only her picture turned out way cooler than mine. *smile* I love all the vibrant colors, and the fact that it takes my imagination a different place almost every time I look at it. And it adds some life to our otherwise subtle blue and white dining room.

Speaking of creativity, have you discovered the Soule Mama blog yet? You've got to check it out. The author's new book is most assuredly on my wish list. Enjoy your visit, and don't get too overwhelmed - encouraging creativity in children happens one project at a time. I'm thinking of trying to regularly plan special craft or art projects for Saturday mornings. I really miss homeschooling at times, but I'm thinking that this is one way I can teach my children in this season, and share with them something I love.

Speak: Burgundy Shoes

We wait for the bus that's going to Bangor
In my plaid dress and burgundy shoes
In your red lipstick and lilac kercheif
You're the most pretty lady in the world
Sun

The bus driver smiles, a dime and a nickel
We climb on our seats, the vinyl is cold
"Michelle ma belle", the song that you loved then
You hold my hand and sing to yourself
Sun sun
Sun sun
Sun sun sun sun

Sun sun sun sun
Sun sun sun sun
Sun

The leaves are green and new like a baby
Tulips are red, now I don't miss the snow
It's the first day I don't wear my big boots
You hold my hand, I've got burgundy shoes
Burgundy shoes, burgundy shoes
Sun

~Burgundy Shoes by Patty Griffin

Not sure what this is about? See my first Speak post.

Luther on becoming

"This life is not a state of being righteous, but rather a growth of righteousness; not a state of being healthy, but a period of healing; not a state of being, but becoming; not a state of rest, but of exercise and activity. We are not yet what we shall be, but we grow toward it; The process is not yet finished, but it is still going on; This life is not the end, it is the way to a better. All does not yet shine with glory; nevertheless, all is being purified."
~Martin Luther

Photo: Morning glory shining in briefly

Saturday morning praise

From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. Psalm 8:2

Sung out Saturday morning over and over (with slight variations - below is just what stayed put in my memory). Melody sweet, drumbeat strong:

Father, you're my strong tower.

I love you so, you're my desire.

Father, you're my strong tower.

You know it all - my start and my end.

Father, you're my strong tower.

You delivered me from the bonds of  my sin.

Father, you're my strong tower.

You rescued my parents from the depths.

Father, you're my strong tower.

Close

Sometimes I wonder. If the answer to my heart's cry is drawing near to you, why is it that the closer I come the more I ache?

Things are laid down for sorrowful Lent. Obstacles pushed aside, for I long to be close. Already I see you more clearly - I think I can almost make out your pulse. Warm, inviting, strong. But more than ever, I hurt. More than ever I am empty and know it.

It is uncomfortable being close. From a distance, you may not notice the bumps and scars and smudges. Perhaps I can maintain a facade of beauty at arm's length. Oh, but there is no fooling when we are face to face. You've always seen it all, of course. But now reflected in your eyes, I see myself more accurately. What I behold causes me grief. Repentance comes.

And a seed of hope takes root. Deep inside, I know. Being close to you is not about me. It is the wonder of you. Give me a heart, Beautiful One, that stands in awe without selfish thought.

I just want to be close. For you.

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5

An improvement or a shame?

So, we've been in the process (for a while!) of painting our downstairs trim. I'd always kind of wanted to do this because I knew it would brighten our home significantly. I have not been disappointed - with each little bit we paint, the atmosphere lightens up more and more! I'm glad we decided to do it. Still, it's a little difficult to cover up the old oak. It definitely had a beauty of it's own and was something that people often exclaimed over when they visited our home in the past. I thought this picture showed the difference between the old and the new in a fun way. What do you think?

Circles

I was thinking of some old Twila Paris lyrics tonight. I can't remember them word for word, but they speak of little children liking to form circles, letting some kids in, keeping others out. The song goes on to issue the invitation over and over, Come on in, communicating that in the Body of Christ there is this supreme welcome into relationship - relationship with God, and with brothers and sisters. No more closed circles, no one kept out. To be honest, I was inwardly shaking my fist at God as I remembered this song. Because in some ways, it has not been my experience. There just seem to be these walls in the realm of relationships that I can't push through for the life of me. I know well that the problem primarily lies within me; it is an area of life in which I feel profoundly broken.

As I was railing in my heart about impenetrable social circles, God brought to mind another circle; a picture He gave me several years back. In a dream, I was in this incredibly beautiful landscape with rolling, grassy hills. Lions, lots of them, started approaching me from all around. At first I was terribly afraid, but then I realized that they were surrounding me to guard me.  A queenly lady came near - lovely, important. I thought for sure the lions would  leave me to attend to her instead. But it was as if they didn't even notice she passed by, so set they were on caring for me. Through this picture, the Lord spoke volumes to me about His protection and love. It was such an amazing feeling being there inside that circle, and knowing somehow that it would not be broken.

So, two sorts of circles, both with unyielding borders. One kind I'm so tired of, the other I'm more grateful for than I can say. I'm not entirely sure what the two have to do with each other, but I think I heard God's gentle encouragement through the clamor of my thoughts (Who is like our God, that He would come gently to a fist-shaker?):

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance... Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave. ~Psalm 16: 5, 6, 9, 10

I am reminded that He is in control of the circles in my life. He may not have ordained the hard walls of separation, but He can surely make them crumble with a word. So whether I'm protected, or kept out, I thank you Father for the set boundaries - change them or use them as You will. Always, always, I can find a spacious place in You. You are good.

Christmas catch-up

Hello, friends... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying the new year! I guess it's been quite a while since I've posted - no apologies, though. ;) It continually amazes me how quickly days slip past and pile up, especially around the holidays. I had wanted to share a few Christmas related things earlier. I think I'll just go ahead and do it now, even though it's a bit late.

This year I came across a new idea that our family incorporated into our Advent and Christmas celebrations, and I think it's well worth passing on. This came from my blogging friend Andrea, who always has so many good thoughts on tangible ways to instill godly values in children. At the beginning of December, we set out a jar with a sign that said, Birthday Gift for Jesus. The plan was to contribute coins and dollars throughout Advent, bringing forth all we could for Him. Originally, we were going to talk with the kids on Christmas morning about what we could buy for Jesus with the money we'd saved, but since we were out of town for Christmas, we ended up doing this as an Epiphany activity. (And it gave us a little extra time to save up.) We talked about how one of the best ways we can give to Jesus is by giving to people who don't have much, and we pulled out the Samaritan's Purse gift catalog. Together we chose to stock a fish pond in rural Africa, and provide an impoverished family with a brood of 24 chicks (don't you know when it came time to choose, our little ones were all over those fishies and baby chickies!).  The little bit of money we'd gathered went so far with Samaritan's Purse. World Vision also has a similar gift catalog, on-line here. I have also heard of a family that saves money for this all year long, and then picks out gifts all through Advent.

Another highlight in December was our kids' school Christmas program. It was so meaningful for me to see Grace and David participate in this in the place where I grew up, singing and reciting and acting out the nativity just like I did. Somehow, it impressed on me how we are all wrapped up together in God's story, and how He blesses one generation after another with His redemption. And Papa and Mima were so proud to have them there, too. :) In the picture below you can see Grace as an angel on the far left, and David's gold wiseman crown peeking through on the right.

Top picture: loveliness from Grammy Kujak's tree.

Edited to add (1/23): After rereading this post, I regret having told specifically what we gave through Samaritan's Purse. I think I just wanted to give examples the neat sorts of things available to purchase in the catalog, but I wasn't exactly following Jesus' command about giving in secret, was I? Sorry, friends.

Wordless Wednesday: Advent beauty

For more Wordless Wednesday, go here.

Bones in Green

How can it be?

I am here in grassy green

But

I am a sack of bones, chilled.

Right

Left

Ahead

Behind

All wrong.

I am a sack of bones.

Still

Here I am in grassy green

With You.

               * * *

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." ~Psalm 91:1,2

Bles Verts. Vincent van Gogh.

This morning

His call came this morning at just the right time. I was rushing, getting children fed and dressed and groomed, the edges of my heart frayed with worries that had crept over it the past few days...

It all just feels so hard again, so impossible, this life.

If he hadn't called, I think I might have missed it, even though the walls were glowing with its light.

"I'm looking at one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen. Can you see it?" my husband's voice came through the line.

Oh.

My view from the window was obscured by houses and wire and naked branches, but still it was breathtaking. Pink, orange, and purple stretched across the sky, boldly announcing the new day, at the same time gently wrapping it in beauty. Just like that I felt hope light on my heart and soothe it's rough edges. And I remembered Ann's words:

They are known as the fleeting golden hours. Do they arrest you, too? Those gilded moments when a day is unwrapped and beheld, or packaged up and sent off. When that glowing ball of fire touches the rim of our understanding and we are startled awake. Radiance explodes and saturates the sky. Hues, surreal and otherworldly, suck the breath right out of our lungs.

Sunrise upon sunset, millennia after millennia, the Master drenches our celestial ceiling with celebratory color.

So that we know. We cannot miss it.

He wraps the day extravagantly, lavishly, so we grasp it, there, unmistakably before us, larger than life: every day is a gift.

                                               * * *

Thank you for the gift of today, Father. For searing me again with Your beauty and setting my heart at peace with the wonder of Your goodness. And now I choose better things for this heart than worry:

I will thank you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. ~Psalm 9:1,2